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Sticky Kicks

2012-02-08T14:18:00.005-05:00

A little background for you to help your understandment of this pic: There is this dude out there; he draws well. Really well. His name is Sean Galloway. He has a series/franchise/creator-owned project (can only hope one of those is correct) that he developed recently entitled "Gumshoes 4 Hire." Because I thought the characters were swell, and had nothing to do on the evenings of January 22nd and 23rd, I decided to try my hand at them.

Now I know the term "gumshoe" is usually reserved for a person with detective-like qualities who keeps a magnifying glass in the pocket of his or her trenchcoat at all times (at least that's what I gathered from looking at remedial clip art), but what I did with this picture is I actually put gum...wait for it...on their shoes. It's pretty deep, so I'll give you a second to digest. As if you didn't know, it's next-level stuff here on this site, so you best bring your pickaxe, a map, and your favorite thermos. Don't know why I typed any of that.

Check out Sean Galloway's blog. You can do that by google-ing "Sean Galloway". I find obvious directions are funnier than just providing a link.

South Bend Swag District

2012-01-24T02:12:00.003-05:00

Alot of people say Notre Dame can't be relevant anymore. Everybody has television contracts. No names on the jerseys (Except in that bowl game against Florida State this year, which looked pretty unsettling actually...probably shouldn't go with those anymore). It's generally fun to root against them. And it's in Indiana. Don't get mad at me Indianites, this is just what people are saying. Personally, I love Pawnee.

So I took it upon myself to update the logo/mascot/tiny leprechaun of this once mightly football power. A little swag district never hurt anybody, even the Irish. I expect The Notre Dougie to be the dance of choice next season in the endzone that is, for some odd reason, filled with computer backslashes.

Lake Bell. Google image search away.

Blades Of Glory

2012-01-19T01:46:00.005-05:00

Sidney Crosby and Mario Lemieux are going to skate to one song, and one song only.

I don't know exactly how provocative this picture is, but it definitely is cray. Last Jay "Paris" reference, I promise.

Those of you who are regular followers of this informative blog may remember a commission of Roberto Clemente I did a few months back. It was entitled "Bob The Pirate". Came up with that myself. I'm clever like that. Anyway, same client, different Black and Yellow. Maybe a Julius Erving and his afro from a scene in "The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh" is up next, I don't know. I'm sure you will be on the edge of your seats. And I feel like I used more quotation marks than normal in this write-up. "Weird".

Maliah Michel. Someone tell her she should work tonight. Never said anything about Drake references.

Coolest Logo Since Arby's

2012-01-15T01:02:00.005-05:00

In case you haven't noticed, this logo has graced the last two illustrations I have posted on this here site. However, I do recognize that not everyone inspects the corners of my drawings to check for an awesome new logo stamp. Hence the reason I have turned a simple image into it's very own post. Plus, I think it deserves it. Look at that straw. Nailed it. Straws are much tougher to sylize than you think. So anyway, feel free to get this tatted on your arms, or neck, or face for that matter. Would definitely appreciate the advertising. Myself on the other hand, will probably just get it put on a t-shirt. I already have "I Am Music" on my one temple, kind of fear anything else on the face will be overload. Have to keep the moneymaker relatively clean. And now as I leave you and glance once more at the title of this post, I want a roast beef sandwich.

The girl with the dragon tattoo.

#NorthPoleWorkoutPlan

2011-12-21T02:12:00.003-05:00

Little known fact: Santa digs the resistance bands. Slightly wider known fact: The entire North Pole is really into physical fitness. The elves are Insanity enthusiasts and Mrs. Claus is a regular at Zumba class. Actually those last 2 I made up. The elves gravitate more toward that P90X stuff, and Mrs. Claus has no rhythm. But the Big Guy definitely loves the band training.

Discovered by the Germans, resistance bands offer numerous advantages. The greatest of these being the ease at which one can bring one's workout with one while one travels. In this case, "one" happens to be the heavy-set, jolly fellow who delivers Christmas joy and XBoxes to every last person in a single evening, courtesy of magical, flying deer. You would think all that would make it impossible to get a workout in. Boom. In your face. Resistance bands. However the milk and cookies do make it a bit more challenging.

Paula Patton. Merry Christmas.

From The Desk Of The Commissioner...

2011-12-16T01:29:00.003-05:00

Have to admit, never seen a minute of Band of Brothers. Just thought that was a clever play on words, as I am sure you do. #humblebrag. But, if that show ever had an episode where Dwight Howard, Kobe Bean Bryant, and Chris Paul were on the front lines firing muskets and what not(think I went wrong war just now), I would have been glued to the TV. As would I have been if those same three individuals were running a little ball out back every night at The Staple between the hours of 7 and 10 pm. But, thanks to the Travelocity gnome and the 30 owners he works for, especially you Dan Gilbert with your Email of Justice, that's not happening.

However, we do get Chris Paul and Blake Griffin and DeAndre Jordan and Dunks and Dunks and Dunks. And Lobs and Dunks. Not a bad consolation prize. In fact, I'm psyched. Ready to kill some birds. Somebody tell Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson. Might get "Lob City" tattoed across my back. Big letters too. Logo infringement, all that stuff. Might go to the kitchen right now and scramble some eggs. With lots of cheese. These are the options I am considering to express my happiness that The League is back. Laker fans and Kobe, likely not feeling the same way I am. Probably won't run into Matt Barnes at the tattoo shop. Actually check that, bad example. Point is, the NBA is back, and it is crookedly intoxicating. Off to crack some eggs.

Rachel McAdams. Wedding Crashers reference sealed the deal.

Classic SEC Humor

2011-11-09T01:11:00.001-05:00

That's right, this clearly states "Coming November 5", and I am typing this on November 8. Just another example of how things get done on this site. Anyway, there was a pretty big game on Saturday, complete with an ESPN countdown clock and all. And they didn't even broadcast it. So it was safe to say the game had a little bit of hype. Just think what would have happened if the networks and Verne Lundquist himself got a load of this picture. World very well may have exploded. So in the end, looks like my tardiness served a purpose. You are all welcome.

The game wasn't really all that appealing aesthetically, but it was pretty impressive to see both squads trot out an entire 2-deep defensive roster that will be in the NFL, give or take 3 years. I watched, and I wished. I wished the Bears would draft Morris Claiborne in April. But, as everyone reading this knows, Chicago plays a Cover 2 and don't really draft man-to-man corners. Also, they seem to be dead set against drafting obvious talent, which doesn't bode well for our friend Morris. So I went ahead and killed that dream now rather than wait until April. Before I get even more distracted, I will sum up. Great game Saturday. Don't really want to see it again. The Arkansas-LSU game will be way more entertaining to watch. And the main lesson learned is that, again, the Honey Badger simply don't care.

Erin Andrews. This should really help traffic.

Bouncer Mike: The Tales Of A Door Keeper

2011-11-04T00:11:00.001-04:00

The Bouncer. It is an overlooked position, filled with joyous times and tremendous, life-altering stories. Bouncers guard the doors to places of congregation, but the doors to their hearts...those they leave unguarded. Get to know one. I immediately apologize. I now realize that sounded exactly like one of those old NBC public service announcements. Cue the shooting star and soothing piano number.

I do respect The Bouncer however, let us not get that twisted, as the youngsters say. Which is why I developed a character primed for his own Pixar full-length feature. His name is Mike, Bouncer Mike. He checks IDs. He does The Heisman on whoever wants it. And he is a hit with the ladies, some of them underage perhaps. Not his problem, he's just following orders. I'm sure once the good folks over at the animation studios get their eyes on this we will see a Bouncer Flick (That's the name I just came up with for this genre...surely this sparks a trend) within the next 12 months.

Well, if you all will excuse me, I have reached my weekly goal of drawing a picture, then coming up with 2 paragraphs of hot garbage to explain it after the fact. Kim Kardashian divorce.

I Need A Dollar, Dollar...Maybe Even Two

2011-10-21T01:01:00.001-04:00

I'm a fan of HBO. More specifically, How To Make It In America. And even more specifically-er, their opening credits. I would put the actual video up here, but I'm not a computer genius and don't know how to do that, so I will just give you a link. Go here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sN49nNdE58. You will find these two fellas somewhere in there. Have no idea who they are, because they're definitely not on the show...just felt like making a dynamic duo out of them. Not too hard to turn normal citizens into action heroes...just give them some guns and a bulletproof vest. Normally does the trick. And speaking of oddball duos being crammed together for no particular reason, I just saw the Title Max commercial with Dominique Wilkins and Mini-Me for the 34th time. It still has not sunk in.

Clair Huxtable. Classic.

Everyone Looks Cool In A Spacesuit

2011-10-14T01:13:00.000-04:00

I feel very fortunate to again be able to work with the talented team over at Space High Productions. You will probably have to put in a little work, but I bet you can remember the last collaboration I did with Pate. Actually, now that I think about it, it shouldn't be that hard to remember at all. He had on a jet pack that coordinated with the Jordan IIIs, even down to that funky elephant print. If that isn't engraved in your mind, I don't know what is. Anyway, this is the follow-up to that album, and he's stepped up his game a little bit. All out astronaut now, giant helmet and everything.

Kaley Cuoco.

So, go ahead and check him out over at www.spacehighmusic.com. Talented fellow. I think this cover will probably be up for a Pulitzer, or a Nobel/BET award, or something spectacular like that. Not positive of the highest honor for excellence in a mixtape cover (front AND back people, I do not do the half-stepping), but I'm pretty sure this will be getting it. Should probably start working on my acceptance speech now. Could take a while, because the very thought of public speaking scrambles my brains. Explains why I lasted exactly one day in that class during my freshman year at USC. Well, that and the teacher said we would be required to dress up for each one of our 5 speeches. Deal Breaker. Two days later I changed my major to Coloring.

I Think I Forgot I Had A Blog...

2011-10-08T23:09:00.000-04:00

Actually, I did not, but I could see how it may appear that way. I have had over 3 people ask me about the lack of juicing on the site. I can take that one of two ways. The first is that nobody cares I haven't been posting and I am irrelevant. Tough pill to swallow...let's check door number 2, shall we? The American public (I have amassed 85 followers and counting people, need I remind you) is so devastated by my lack of posts that it has lost the ability to either speak or email me its concerns. I will go with the latter view, obviously. Much easier on the soul.

The truth is I haven't been slacking off, just working on some top-secret, super agent kind of projects that I can't post yet. And I picked up a quick temp job loading and unloading books at a library, which really wore me out. I will now stop that story before I lose any more followers. I wanted to come back with a purpose though, because this site is all about culture appreciation. Think that's been fairly obvious to see in past posts. Norman Rockwell is pretty much the standard by which all great drawlers are measured, so this was just my way of showing some respect. Plus, Mr. Rockwell was never around to capture the magical moment that was Jadeveon Clowney's first collegiate sack, courtesy of Aaron Murray, so I tried my best to do it justice. God bless Norman Rockwell. And God bless Jadeveon Clowney.

Meghan Markle. Meghan Markle. Meghan Markle. (Yes, I'm still doing that thing where I tag an extremely attractive female celebrity in hopes of getting more views.)

Editor's note: Not like I have to say it, but Norman Rockwell's is the one on the bottom. These look ridiculous next to each other. Bad idea.

Say It Ain't So...

2011-07-24T02:45:00.000-04:00

I can not. It is so. If you are one of the 4 people still checking in on this slab of nonsense, you probably have noticed that there hasn't been much action lately. There is a perfectly good explanation for this. Much like every other sport in the world aside from table tennis and all equestrian events, I am in the midst of a lockout. The ownership of this site (me) and the talent (also me) are currently at odds and, much as lockouts go, the ones that suffer in these situations are the innocent fans and adoring public (you).

So basically, until I resolve this situation with myself, I am withholding any awesome pictures from going on this site. It hurts me more than it hurts you, trust me. When I started this blog, it was always my intention that every post would contain a professional-looking illustration...or an insane finger painting, along with a very well-thought out and informative write-up about the subject matter, origins, thought process, etc. Turns out rules are made to be broken. Who knew. I will leave you with some good news however. Nobody knows myself better than myself, so negotiations should not be that hard. Think I may just give myself some cookies. This could be resolved by the morning.

A Tradition Unlike Any Other

2011-06-24T03:26:00.000-04:00

That is correct, Jim Nantz and his dulcet tones have invaded my blog. (Note: First time ever using "dulcet" correctly in a sentence, think I pulled it off quite well. Except for this part.) But back to the tradition angle. As everybody who is anybody knows, the NBA Draft was held tonight in delightful New Jersey Whatever Their Arena's Name Is. And also as everybody knows, every year on Draft Night, I release a picture that has somehow weaved in Wu-Tang Clan references.

Actually, this is the first year that has happened, but traditions have to start somewhere. And I know this may seem like an odd custom to repeat year after year right now, but I urge you to think twice, maybe even three times, before mocking it. Just imagine what it must have looked like to outsiders when the very first kids to walk up to a neighbor's house and randomly ask for candy did so on the last day of an October past. And look what a special day that turned into. So, I think we can all agree...NBA Draft Wu-Tang Pic Night could very possibly be this country's next great Halloween-like holiday. Did I mention it is currently 3:42 AM?

I'm going over my self-imposed 2 paragraph limit, but I probably should explain the picture, at least a little. I'll make it quick. Scott Van Pelt Show. Ryen Russillo also talks on there. They routinely incorporate Wu lyrics and philosophies into the show. Thought it would be funny. They use giant cardboard cut-outs of their own heads now as lead-ins, so this may never make it to air. Still think it's funny.

The Greatest Shirt Design That You Will Never See On A Shirt

2011-06-10T02:38:00.000-04:00

It was this close to happening too. And then Chicago proceeded to run the same semi-ineffective pick and roll for the duration of every fourth quarter and LeBron decided to single-handedly guard every player on the floor while constantly holding down his very own turbo button. Allow me to explain. Was contacted by a shirt company to come up with a design for a Joakim Noah shirt. Seemed simple enough...I would make Joakim a samurai, the shirt would sell millions, and a possible early retirement to a Caribbean island would be in my near future.

Obviously, the fact that I'm still updating (term used loosely here, I realize) this blog let's you know that plan never really came to fruition. Because believe me, as soon as I become even a little famous for making pretty pictures, this site will develop cobwebs. Joking. Maybe. But as I was saying, some things got in the way...NFL lockout-type verbage, Congress may have passed some legislation...I'm not sure. Just know these shirts never made it out of their collective womb. And people's chests everywhere are sad because of it.

Jennifer Lawrence. Never been such a fan of blue people before.

Certified Pressure Cover

2011-05-30T14:43:00.000-04:00

Recently had the opportunity to again work with FDA and B-Luce on one of their mixtapes. I know what you're thinking, but no, I did not lend my talents to any background vocals. I was actually only responsible for the artwork on the cover. I'm sure they'll get to my musical gifts on the next go-round. But for now, check them out at www.fdamusic.com.

I would write more, but as I am currently watching the Memorial Day marathon of Arrested Development on IFC, I have lost the ability to concentrate. Therefore I must stop before I begin to slur my typing.

Franklin is to Bash, as Frame is to Vengeance

2011-05-23T11:29:00.000-04:00

Lack of posts can only mean two things: Severe head trauma, or the NBA playoffs are on. And to the best of my knowledge, I have not been concussed at any point in time over the last couple weeks. Then again if I was, I probably wouldn't remember it. Point is, I've been heavy TNT lately. So much so, that I have memorized and can recite verbatim, every Franklin & Bash commercial. Not that I'm particularly proud of that, but as always, I do have an obligation to speak the truth.

That's a lie. Well, half-lie. The main reason for the lack of activity is that I've been pretty busy on a couple different projects recently. But the playoffs certainly don't help matters any. Should be back to a more regular update schedule shortly, but in the meantime figured I'd set the internet on fire with a slightly overweight bowler and his transforming, robotic ball. Just another character design to hold you over. And as always, am not afraid to sue. I know two dudes who are totally lawyers.

Rashida Jones.

Talkin' Twitter and Chasin' Rabbits

2011-04-15T03:45:00.000-04:00

Back with pretty much nothing important for this post. Do I know how to sell myself or what? I am self-promotion, just like Wayne is music. No face tattoo for me though. Although I am strongly considering a twitter account for marketing purposes. Off the top, I already have 3 finalists in mind as far as handles go. They are as follows: @iamnotNickiMinaj, @ItsPronouncedRO-Shay, and @WhereverImAt. And as much as I would plug this site, the first order of business would obviously be getting Wheat Thins to follow me. Free crackers for a year would be awesome.

Now that I got unimportant ramblings out of the way, this week's pic is just a random character design. I've always been jealous of people who chase rabbits to train for high school football, so if I can't be one, the next best thing is to draw one...maybe. And for those of you who don't know about the Glades Central-Pahokee rivalry down in "The Muck", I suggest you check out the NFL Network's hour-long masterpiece, which is what I did a couple weeks back. Which got me thinking about Big Slop and turning this into a television series franchise. Think Boondocks meets Friday Night Lights. Meets 300. Meets Iron Chef. Disaster, nevermind. But if you take my idea I will sue.

Skylar Diggins. I actually watched an entire women's college basketball game. Congratulations Skylar, you have done the impossible.

Blue and Yellow, Blue and Yellow

2011-04-01T02:52:00.000-04:00

First, a little background. I grew up watching the NBA on NBC in the early 90s. That song...is the soundtrack to my childhood. I even found out years later that it was created by John Tesh and was entitled "Roundball Rock"...and I STILL LOVED IT. If you don't immediately know what I am talking about, then first, slap yourself in the face, and second, click here. And for those of you unfamiliar with the trio above, the great Marv Albert shows proper respect to Run TMC in that well-crafted verbal open within said clip. Which leads me on a quick tangent...I have a couple goals in life. One is that I make enough money so I can afford McDonald's biscuits every morning (with some Bojangle's thrown in for variety, of course). And the other is that Marv Albert would announce normal activities in my daily life. "And here he is going to throw his socks in the hamper. Oh, 1 of 2...well, he's...he's been off in recent days, Czar."

Tangent completed somewhat successfully...proceeding. Was honored to work with Got 'Em Coach again on its current Between The Lines project. Check out the write-up, almost as eloquent as Marv's intro, here. As you can imagine, this illustration is pretty much taking over the interwebs, being re-blogged and re-posted at an alarming rate. But I just try to keep a level head about the whole thing. It's working out pretty well. I've cut down on my daily 3rd person references, and I don't even get mad at my newly hired personal chef when the edges aren't cut off my PB&J sandwiches. That last part was outrageous...who would want the crust cut off!?! That stuff is great. I don't get some people.

For obvious throwback reasons, this week's random lady tags are as follows: Hannah Storm...and yes, Willow Bay. You are welcome, America.

The Simmons Network

2011-03-23T03:23:00.001-04:00

Obviously, honored to work with Bill Simmons again. You may recognize the middle portion of this image (namely the face, Bird jersey, office chair, and Twitter device, otherwise known as a phone) from his Facebook profile pic, which you can check out at www.facebook.com/billsimmons. However as you can see, there was much more to that image...like a nameplate and a desk. Admit it, your mind is blown.

I'm rounding here, but I believe I saw he has somewhere around 67,000 "likes" on his page. Those are numbers Wilt Chamberlain would be proud of. Mind out of the gutter people. Shockingly, I have slightly less Facebook friends than Simmons. If you are looking for a comparison, I would probably say I am more in the Alton Lister neighborhood of internet domination. Look out though, the follower count here is at 66. And that was just when I first started typing this. There's no telling what it could be now...nope, wait...still at 66.

For those not familiar, this is the part of my posts where I would insert a celebrity's name and tag in the off chance I get more hits, but since I just dropped an "Alton Lister" in the previous paragraph, I really don't see the need. I'm pretty sure his name rings Google bells.

The Recruitables

2011-03-07T03:35:00.001-05:00

Back from the Combine...had a pretty good showing, in my opinion. Kiper and McShay should be breaking me down anyday now in that Sportscenter labratory setup with all the bubbles and beakers. Speaking of football and Pixar movies...and Southern Cal...and uniformed khaki pants...that just happens to be the subject of this very post.

You will notice that there are two pictures...one is sans conversation, and one is my interpretation of how the verbal interaction between these characters would go. Also...you may notice the Incredible masks and wonder why no Incredible uniforms. Valid question. When it came down to it, I admire Monte Kiffin a great deal, but just didn't feel comfortable putting an 80-year-old in red spandex. You understand.

Now I could have picked any coaching staff in the country for this project, but thought Southern Cal's was the most interesting. Lot of dynamic relationships in there. You've got the father-son thing, you've got Lane Kiffin, drive-thru head coach who seems to be a little nutty (not Charlie Sheen level or anything, but then again, who is), and of course, my guy Ed Orgeron (no sarcasm here, this dude really is awesome), who goes through a dozen or so Red Bulls a day (although word on the street is he recently made the switch to Rockstar) and rips his shirt off while challenging his players to brawls during pep talks. Didn't make that up...it's in Bruce Feldman's book. What other staff has characters like that? Could have drawn Auburn's I guess, but after Gene Chizik, Gene Chizik's jaw, and that one crazy guy who runs around with his hat backwards, who else is left??

Bob the Pirate

2011-02-28T00:58:00.001-05:00

Valentine's Day commission of the great Roberto Clemente. Nothing says "I Love You" like a cartoonified baseball legend. I mean, if it's between this and a box of chocolates, and let's be honest, most of those chocolates are borderline ABC material anyway, I don't think it's much of a competition. Cartoonified baseball legend all day! In all seriousness, honored to play a role in helping a nice couple celebrate Valentine's Day. I will now stop talking about this, before it begins to border on creepy.

Relatively short post this time, not a whole lot of back story with this particular pic. I could just start rambling about random stuff, but we all know that's not what this site is about. This site has structure...and integrity...and an age requirement! But it's for the best anyway, need to get my rest. Up here at the combine in Indianapolis...plan on working out with the D-lineman bright and early tomorrow morning. Probably get into some 3-cone stuff, maybe an obstacle course or two...I don't know. Just going to scribble a number in the high 70s on a form-fitting black tee and see what the day brings.

It's Blake 'N Shake, and I Helped

2011-02-21T02:37:00.000-05:00

Blake Griffin filled his All-Star Weekend with numerous activities, such as jumping over an automobile, sticking his elbow in a rim, and walking around the city of Los Angeles with his own personal gospel choir. I happen to do those things every weekend, but this is not about me. Well...it is, actually. My blog. My picture. So I take that sentence back. And I know what you're thinking...and no this is not an actual photograph. Even though Blake routinely wears the paper Steak n' Shake hats, this is actually an illustration I did in collaboration with http://www.gotemcoach.com/.

I'm almost ashamed of throwing random women's names in here in an attempt to get more hits...but not so much that I will stop. Keyword.....Rihanna.

Back to the story. Got Em held a Blake Griffin nickname contest, which apparently, he is in dire need of. "Milkshake" won out, so the good dude over at the site asked me to illustrate it. Now, just to be clear, I will probably never ever use that one, just because I'm not calling another grown man "Milkshake". But that's just a personal standard thing, don't let it affect your thought process on the matter. But I do respect and appreciate the reasoning behind it, which you can see here. Now there are of course, other popular, potential nicknames out there for the guy (Poster Boy, The Blake Show, Blake Superior, The Auburn Mamba, just to name a few), and those are all well and good, but I too, bring my own set of Blake Griffin nicknames to the table. They are as follows, in no particular order, and meant to be read quickly: Blake O' Bits, Dr. Blakenstein, Blake Killed Kenny, Tonka Truck, The Ultimate Swirlior, Swirl Jam, Griffitron, Herschel Walker's Workout, The Ruins of Babylon, Denny's Grand Slam, Double Dopplar, The Situation Times 2, Betty White on Acid....I could go on, but I don't want to drop too much verbal gold on America. Plus, I'm copyrighting the best ones. So if there's one thing we've learned today, it's that Blake Griffin has a bunch of nicknames, but only one that comes with a really cool picture. FACT.

Going to round this out with a Maria Menounos. All-Star heavy blog...and should have picked someone easier to spell, dear heavens.

Chicken Scratch Fever

2011-02-02T01:40:00.000-05:00

Now that I am in my early-to-mid-to-mid-late twenties, holidays have lost some of their luster. I mean, I don't get action figures for Christmas anymore so that day is shot, and Thanksgiving keeps heading down a dark road to nowhere because the NFL, for some ridiculous reason, keeps forcing the Dallas Cowboys down the American public's throat. Then there's Arbor Day...I'm going to have to stop myself...getting a little too emotional and some deep feelings are resurfacing. Point being, a new holiday that is gaining momentum and surging toward the top of my list is National Signing Day.

Cairo. That's trending right now, isn't it?

But back to NSD '11 (I wanted to see how terrible I could make myself sound by turning that into an acronym...I found the answer is "pretty"). The past couple years, I have started to follow the recruiting wars and rankings over the InterWebs...and let me tell you, it is fascinating stuff. So much so that it even made me read a book. I know...I know. Bruce Feldman's "Meat Market", which is a creepy title now that I look at it, but nevertheless, it did push my total number of books read cover-to-cover to a whopping 3. So if you are having withdrawal from the college football season and need something to roll tide you over, do like I do and immerse yourself in who is going to commit, decommit...sign, not sign...prep school, or JUCO first but then hop on board...with your school. As you can see, mine happens to be the Real USC, and with this haul of some 30-odd signings tomorrow, I am counting on hearing even more "Sandstorm" in the years to come.

Jennifer Lopez. She's back.

How I Pay For Things Pt. 2

2011-01-04T02:17:00.001-05:00

New post, new year...and regretfully, I still pay for things the same way I did in 2010. With drawrings. And yes, I know about the extra "r" in there, I did that on purpose. I feel it helps convey my simple way of thinking, but more importantly, it sounds funny.

As for the pics, it turns out AJ does read the blog...or at least was told to pay attention to a particular post. No problem, Super Agent Man needed to be done. I can't just walk around with a 2-year old rent debt in the form of a picture hanging over my head. That would look silly.

So now that I got the overdue rent out of the way, figured I'd go ahead and "pay" for all the gear I get, and have gotten over the years. Not sure if that last sentence was grammatically correct, but it sure sounds alright to me, seeing as how it currently is 2:46 in the morning. Anyway, don't mean to toot my own horn, but The Big LeBurski could very well be studied by art history students in the coming years. It's such a clever and powerful pop culture piece, that I now think I over-re-imbursed. So uh....go ahead and send some more shorts Bur.

And on a side note, I feel like I am absolutely butchering the English language...even more than normal.

No Clever Title...Just Panels

2010-12-13T11:47:00.000-05:00

One of the jobs that kept me busy over the last month. A call center company wanted some illustrations done to help get their information out there in a more interesting fashion, and I was happy to oblige. Not entirely sure when or where the 3 page short story makes its debut, so just look for it everywhere, at all times. Seems like a reasonable enough request.

Kung Wu Panda

2010-11-30T23:58:00.001-05:00

November was a pretty busy month for me, hence the lackage of posts. Was still working on a couple of projects that required at least some form of basic concentration. And then there was the world hunger thing...tried to find a solution to that. Didn't go so well. I'm pretty sure the problem still exists. And I haven't even mentioned the free HBO preview over the last 10 days, so of course I had to take full advantage. So although the schedule was crammed, I managed to find time to draw a talking panda.

I recently saw Kung Fu Panda for the first time, ironically not as part of my OnDemand 10-day couch marathon. It came on FX, which meant I had to DVR and fast forward through the commercials...but your boy fought through it. And of course as I was taking in this cinematic masterpiece, my elementary mind immediately began thinking of things that rhyme, because that's just how I roll. End result? A panda that rocks a chain and a purple robe. And a bracelet with a bird on it.

How I Pay Rent

2010-10-25T01:48:00.001-04:00

Juice Nation, I've been pretty busy as of late on a couple different projects (I really like the way that reads, makes me look important), hence the reason for the lack of posts. So just to keep my reps up, figured I would post a couple random pics of the soon-to-be world famous O'Bryant Brothers...one for his acting, the other for the most extensive DVD collection of terrible horror movies that fit in a single Case Logic. Somebody call Guinness. The Book of Records people, not the Irish dry stout company.

Sofia Vergara.

My buddy Kel wanted a logo for his company (which definitely does not exist), so I happily provided him with one. Really, he just wanted a new profile pic for Facebook. And I get that. It was the least I could do since he and his brother Mosef let me crash out in L.A. with them for 6 months or so. I figured half a year's rent in the most expensive place on Earth was worth a picture. Or at least close enough to it, that I went ahead and put pen to paper. All that's left is a Super Agent Man pic, and my debt will be paid. Come to think of it, I really hope A.J. doesn't read this blog, because I can't escape the feeling that I just created more work for myself. Blast.

Cameron Diaz. Again. I heard she was the most searched for girl on the internet...sue me.

Big Ol' Kuta

2010-10-15T01:41:00.000-04:00

In keeping with the theme of being too lazy to create my own characters and instead drawing other people's, I give you Kuta, copyright of Sean Galloway. But I will not be providing a link to his site. I know I said that in the last post with Mr. Sanford Greene and then broke down, but this time I really mean it. The guy is super talented, and his blog has something like 1700 followers. And by the time this is posted, it may be up to 4000. Really don't think he needs my help as far as traffic goes.

Eva Mendes.

Speaking of website traffic, the Juice Follower Count is standing pat right now at 44. I offered a special the other day that the next 6 new followers would receive a free Shake Weight. Apparently that didn't hit home with anybody, so I guess I have to find a new wonder product to give away. Kind of works out in the end though, because I didn't have any Shake Weights. Oh, and in case you were wondering, Eva Mendes has nothing at all to do with this post. But I heard people click on stuff when her name is involved. And on that note...

Cameron Diaz.

Tommy Boy

2010-09-27T02:13:00.000-04:00

Thought I would throw up a recent pic I did of the great Sanford Greene's character, Tommy Boy, from his independent project, "1000". Hopefully, I did it justice. I'm debating whether or not to give you a link to Mr. Greene's site, but don't want to risk the fact that you may not return to this here one after seeing some of his work. It is quite the predicament.

After 5 to 10 seconds of deep thought and consideration, I will go ahead and provide the info. Afterall, there's so much other stuff I offer here than just artwork. The witty banter, the useful advice (remember just a couple of posts ago when I told you to check your spam folder?), and the knowledge you just can't get anywhere else, such as how peanut butter and strawberry jam sandwiches are actually better than peanut butter and jelly ones. Also, Apple Jacks ruined their product when they added the green loops. See, so much more than just pretty pictures. So check out Sanford Greene at http://codegreene.blogspot.com, and return here for all your sports and cereal knowledge needs.

Good Morning, Sunshine

2010-09-07T01:00:00.001-04:00

Earlier this summer, I finally got around to seeing that Wolverine Origins movie that just came out...2 summers or so ago. I know what you're thinking...and no, I don't know how I constantly stay ahead of the curve either. Anyway, the Deadpool dude did his thing, ripping off sarcastic comments, slicing speeding bullets in half with a sword...pretty much stuff that only him and I have in common. But (SPOILER ALERT...can I still do that on a two-year old movie??), they put an end to his witty sarcasm by stitching up his mouth at the end of the movie, which while it looks really cool, doesn't seem to be all that ideal for other regular human functions, such as eating...or talking.

I was fascinated so much so by this incredible plot twist, that I decided to explore how a certain killing machine would go about his breakfast. Turns out, he doesn't get very far. Unless he takes doughnuts and coffee intravenously, but that just seems crazy. Either way, a fun picture to draw, and finally catching the movie proved to be quite informative. I was thinking of a possible adamantium infusion procedure, but after seeing the process...not so much. So maybe I'll just fake it and get the tattoo?? Still undecided, but will keep you posted.

A Little BS Never Hurt Anybody

2010-08-31T02:32:00.000-04:00

Ladies and gentlemen, Bill Simmons wrote the 2nd book that I have ever read front to back...ever...in life. And it was 700 pages. With no pictures! Two things come to mind immediately: First, that reflects terribly on me now that I just read the last couple sentences aloud. And second, that is an amazing feat to keep my attention throughout an entire book. The guy should be celebrated.

I probably need to say that the book is entitled "The Book of Basketball", which explains why I was able to go to cover-to-cover on that bad boy. Simmons also writes columns for espn.com and hosts a podcast, The BS Report, for those of us too lazy to read. He's a one-man sports empire. So it really was pretty cool to see my illustration up on the BS Report page, which is made available here for your viewing pleasure... http://espn.go.com/espnradio/show?showId=bsreport. (Halfway down on the right) And equally as cool for the shout-out he sent this very site the next day via twitter.

Speaking of Simmons twitter post, I got a few emails as a result. The guy has over a million followers, so it was pretty effective advertising. However, I recently found a couple of BS-related emails in my spam folder, which I never, ever, ever check. I just delete, automatically. Figured it was a horrible meat, and any folder named after something so awful...nothing good comes from it. Obviously, I was wrong. So for the people out there who emailed and got no response, if you still check this blog (hard to imagine, since you probably think I blew you off), I definitely did not blow you off. Email again. I check spam now.

So, we've covered a couple topics today. I feel better, hope you do as well. And as always, I like to close with a summary statement that effectively wraps up our time together. This week...eh hem...Thank you Mr. Bill Simmons, for your literary prowess and the fact that your podcasts are free, and kids, always check your spam folder. Good night.

Whistling Bunkers

2010-08-26T03:54:00.000-04:00

A travesty. An outright travesty, I tell you. But before I go any further with this, I feel I must inform you, my golf knowledge....not up to par. Pun extremely intended. However, I did grade out at 100 on my golfing final exam. That's right, I took golf in college. Well, half golf...the other half of the semester I teamed with my good buddy Kelvin to form one of the most dominating and dynamic duos ever seen in the great sport of badminton. Back to my original point, my golf instructor was a man named Kwok. He stood 4'10", weighed 97 lbs. if he had a monster breakfast, and spoke very little English...but enough to award me a perfect score on the final, which was simply one swing with a driver. But it went far, and straight. Sounds like 100 to me.
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Now that you know of my extensive golf background, you understand I'm probably not that familiar with many of the nuances and unwritten rules of the game. But whatever. I'm nasty at putt-putt, and feel like I should speak on this situation. How dare the people of Whistling Straits take away the ability of Dustin Johnson....Dutch Fork's own, Dustin Johnson, I remind you...to participate in a playoff for his first major. Admitedly, I may be a tad biased since we did go to the same high school, but still. If it's 400 yards off the course, and people have stood, sat, trampled, had picnics, and in some cases slept on it...and it looks like a patch of dirt...THEN WHY WOULD IT BE A BUNKER?!? Seems a little silly to me, but then again, so does a course named Whistling Straits. My goodness.

Tales From The Couch

2010-08-24T13:38:00.001-04:00

Yet another ESPN personality makes an appearance on The Juice. This time, it's a repeat offender. A while back, I did an illustration for ESPN Radio's "Scott Van Pelt Show" featuring Van Pelt and my guy, Ryen Russillo. (Editor's note: The picture routinely airs on ESPN2 weekdays, 3-4 pm...Check it out.) Russillo also hosts "NBA Today", an ESPN podcast that goes heavy into all things NBA. It was a natural match since my life, as it turns out, also revolves around the NBA.
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One of the regular segments on the podcast is Tales From The Couch, when Russillo sets up shop on his sofa with his remote control and notepad, and goes through the 11 or so games on Tuesday nights during the regular season. I felt the segment needed an illustration to really make it the best it can be, especially since this is a podcast and has no visibility requirement whatsoever. So dumb, it's possibly brilliant. But, I did hear the poster is making a permanent appearance at a bar his buddy owns. Actually, now that I think of it, it would probably be a good idea to give you some of the important details of said bar. But seeing as how I have neither the name or location, all I can tell you is to keep your eyes open any time you walk into a bar in the continental United States. Sound advice, regardless of whether you see Russillo and the Crypt Keeper on the wall, or not.

Gotta Be The Shoes...Or The Jet Pack

2010-08-16T23:35:00.002-04:00

I figured it was time for a momentary break from all things LeBron and other riveting sports commentary, so that I may post some recent album work I did for my buddy, Pate. The mixtape is called "Take Off in T-Minus" and can be downloaded for your listening pleasure at www.spacehighmusic.com. Check it out.

Also, before I leave you, I would like to draw your attention to the jet pack our friend is wearing on the front cover. You may notice that it matches the Retro J's on his feet. Just throwing that out there, because I don't believe the good folks at Nike are up on this type of Earth-shattering technology yet. I always pride myself on staying ahead of the curve. And Nike, feel free to send gear for all the free marketing I'm giving you guys...I know how badly you need it.

That is all for this post. More dynamic sports cartooning coming soon.

The Inception of The Decision

2010-08-06T02:23:00.001-04:00

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I knew that hour of nonsense couldn't have been LeBron's idea. It all makes sense now. That Maverick Carter sure is a crafty one. It's been a while since the last post, but I felt a need to wrap up the whole LeBron situation, considering I left you hanging as our hero was just about to decide whether he needed a new suit. Turns out, that decision was made months ago. The only real decision left was which hotel would supply the cabanas? He ultimately decided on The W, you'll be happy to know. As you may remember from the previous post, I said I was enjoying the constant updates from Bucher, Adande, and Broussard. And I was, except when the news broke that this thing was going to culminate with LeBron choosing the sweepstakes winner Bachelor style. That was my saturation point. That and Jim Gray.
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So LeBron took his talents to South Beach, then took some major hits to his "brand". Some, rightfully so, others...not so much. But one thing is for sure, Miami will not miss Dorell Wright at small forward. The NBA has a new villian..."Team Dillinger", as LeBron so eloquently tweeted. While the whole process got a little nauseating at times, it definitely ended with everyone being excited for the season to get underway. EVEN DAN GILBERT.
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(All Caps....get it? Anybody??)

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Summer Blockbuster

2010-07-03T15:24:00.001-04:00

Ahh the smell of NBA Free Agency...go ahead, take a whiff. Delightful, isn't it? The Summer of 2010 is delivering many fascinating storylines to us...Where will LeBron go?....And how did Terrence Howard suddenly turn into Don Cheadle? Was it make-up? CGI?? And where will LeBron go???

I have no idea. That is the $119 million dollar question. When the free agency hype started 2 years ago, it was pretty nauseating, just for the simple fact that it was so far away. Much like eating healthy or the thought of higher education, I was intrigued for 15 minutes before quickly losing interest. But now that it's here, I must admit, all the rumors and tweets and Ric Bucher updates every 8 minutes are shockingly, pretty interesting.

So Wade and Bosh, and Joe and Amare, and even Carlos, will wait out the holiday weekend for LeBron to make his decision. Then everybody else will begin their feeding frenzies, and we can finally wrap this thing up. Until 3 years from now, when we get to do it all over again...

RUN B&C

2010-06-23T23:19:00.000-04:00

For those of you who do not watch ESPN regularly (which causes me to seriously question your judgment and overall quality of life), my illustration that I posted late last year has hunkered down in the regular rotation of pictures on the Scott Van Pelt Show. So every fifth day or so, allow your eyes to glance down at the screen on the side of that giant desk, and you just may be able to bask in all it's glory.

So obviously, the next show to conquer would be ESPN2's SportsNation. Again, I can't give you an exact date as to when it will appear, but who knows, could be sooner rather than later. So if you ever see Colin Cowherd with a rope chain or Michelle Beadle in some finger rings for a segment, just know that the credit for that particular block goes to yours truly. At least in my mind it does, which is all that really counts anyway.

Cozy Sweater v. Stylish Pantsuit

2010-05-24T01:25:00.001-04:00

I have been told by more than one person that I'm cheap. Not true. Common misconception. I prefer the terms "thrifty" and "cost-conscious". For example, Season 3 of The Office was shot in 2006, 2007-ish, and was probably released on DVD later that same year. Do I purchase then when the price is $34.99? Of course not. I wait, even though it's one of my favorite shows, and will continue to be so as long as I still have the ability to laugh at dumb stuff....and I wait. I watch re-runs on TBS whenever they're on...and then again, wait.

Until last week, when the good folks at Best Buy decided to mark Season 3 down to a much more managable $17.99. I swoop in like a vulture, purchase, and then proceed to plow through all the episodes that I have already seen at a Usain-like speed. Silly Best Buy. Played 'em like a fiddle. So I ask you, does that sound "cheap" to you? Or does that sound like one savvy shopper??

O yea, also, Dunder-Mifflin inspiration struck...Decided to do a pic of Pam and Karen...I believe I was actually on the Team Karen side of things during this season, not because I didn't appreciate the whole Jim-Pam dynamic, but just because I was a Rashida Jones fan. Still am. Tah well, at least we have Parks and Rec.

Droppin' the Hammer

2010-05-18T00:53:00.000-04:00

I've come to the realization that I don't update the blog nearly enough. So, in an effort to do so, I will periodically throw random sketches up here, just to keep it lively, and fatten my portfolio up. That should help in my effort to dominate the Internet. But it doesn't stop there. There will be constant Facebook status updates, a booming Twitter account...I will be bumrushing all forms of media. And this will all happen....as soon as I get a phone with Internet capability. (Feel free to take a deep sigh here, because I know I am.) My current phone is actually a rotary dial, so you can see how that could slow things down.

And of course, a little backstory as to why you're staring at a picture of Thor...I think most people think he's corny, so I decided to draw him. And just like that, you've been granted an all-access pass to how my mind works. Anyway, I believe he has two different versions of his get-up...one of them featuring a giant red cape...which actually ties in with the sentence at the top of this p-graph. Capes should only be worn by babies up to, and not past, the age 4, and those really cool drum majors with the batons. So I kind of swirled the two costumes up, and came up with my own take...sans cape, obviously.

So to sum up...I need a new phone. And Thor DOES NOT need a new cape.

The Bluecash State

2010-05-04T19:46:00.000-04:00

Umm, I could spend a healthy amount of time on this topic, which may lead to people's heads, who are not as invested in this subject as I, slamming into their keyboards, passing out from utter boredom. So, in the interest of public safety and concussions, I will try my best to sum up my thoughts...

The One and Done Rule is killing college basketball as we know it...

And surprisingly, John Calipari...not doing all that much to help the situation.

In fairness, Daniel Orton (not pictured above) was the team's eighth-leading scorer at 3.4 ppg, and hauled in a staggering 3.3 rpg, so it's not as if he still had any work to do on his game. He pretty much accomplished everything he could at that level. Time to make the jump. Obviously.

No worries though Daniel, Cal was going to be done with you anyway. Time for another class to come in and take a shot at winning this thing. We can't have the five-star recruits stay on campus longer than a year, which could give the NCAA enough time to start snooping around Lexington, because who knows what they would find, say, under the table, perhaps.

However, I can't really blame Cal. He's just running his program according to how the current rules are set up. Sort of. The real problem lies with the NCAA and NBA. The One and Done Rule is a joke. It needs to be at least two, preferably even three years. But, like most problems in life, all we need to do is ask the question: What Would Mike Do? If Jordan could stick around Chapel Hill for his junior year, then I think Eric Bledsoe and Daniel Orton should be able to do the same.

Until then, I guess Ashley Judd will continue to paint her face and cheer on these freshmen. Sweet.

And the Oscar Goes To...

2010-04-16T00:20:00.000-04:00

Oops. Slightly different film than the one Miss Bullock was previously starring in. But hey, things change. Girls with tattoos on their foreheads (yes, you read that correctly) come along and what's a Jesse James to do?? I guess the answer would be...anything else. Anything. But let me go ahead and wrap this up in typical, politically correct fashion: I do not endorse cheating. I do not endorse violence. And two wrongs do not make a right. Luckily for me though, they do make a funny cartoon.

On To The Next One...

2010-04-09T23:23:00.000-04:00

What's special about that post title, is that it's a musical reference...to inform you about my latest musical illustration project. That's a little thing I like to call "Full Circle"...and I constantly amaze even myself. But enough about me, check out these fellas from Houston. The mixtape drops this Sunday, I do believe. To be sure, look them up at http://www.fdamusic.com/, or http://www.overgrindrecords.com/. Either one will do just fine. I thank you ahead of time for your cooperation.

It's All About Timing

2010-03-26T02:04:00.001-04:00

So my man Bur has been killing me for the last month or so, saying I never post stuff. Saying I said I would put up a new picture every Thursday...which I never said, by the way. But, I'm too lazy to actually go back and check, so he may be right on that one, I don't know. I tried to tell him I've been busy with a lot of projects, real career-oriented, ambitious-type stuff, and that people would understand because afterall, some of us have real jobs and can't just wake up whenever we please, lazily make some afternoon breakfast, and go on about our business. Sorry, some of us live in the real world. But, he wasn't trying to hear that I guess. He told me I needed to do a Leno-Conan cartoon. I told him I'd get to it. 2 months later, this is me getting to it. So, hop in your time machine, to whenever this story first broke, and enjoy...

And Now the Real Fun Begins...

2010-03-04T16:37:00.000-05:00

Some of you think that the best part of the NFL Draft is when there is that precious moment on a stage in New York City, where some new millionaire is with 82 of his closest relatives, all decked out in the Official Draft Day hats...a childhood dream realized in front of Chris Berman and a handful of crazy NFL fans. Others may think it is the riveting television that is Mike Mayock, Rich Eisen, PrimeTime himself, and 400 giant men in Under Armour tights running around cones, slide-slide-exploding, and jumping as high as possible in order to touch a plastic doohickey in a near-empty stadium in Indianapolis. I myself, believe the best part of this entire process are the 5 minutes that SportsCenter sets aside from now until April 22 for Mel Kiper Jr., his incredible Kiper hair, and Todd McShay to debate and verbally thrash each other on everything NFL Draft related. The split-screen bantering is second to none. So I made a picture of it. Enjoy.

The Gilbert Arenas Project

2010-02-25T01:35:00.000-05:00

Let's just go ahead and get things out in the open. Yes, Gilbert, you brought a couple of firearms into the locker room. And yes, Gilbert, you got yourself suspended for the rest of the season. And yes, Gilbert, looking back on it, this probably wasn't one of your better days as far as judgment is concerned. But I own no gavel, I am not here to judge. However, there is the undeniable fact that you no longer have any of your salary for this year. And to be entirely honest, the rest of your $111 million is kind of up in the air as well. I'm no genius, but I have to believe you need to find a way to make up some of that cash without pawning those super fresh throwback Nikes you used to rock at Arizona. Afterall, you've got bills to pay like the rest of us.

Here's where I come in. I say you accept the situation, even embrace it. Make it your own. The High Noon Hibachi. BOOM!!! What was that, you ask?! Oh nothing, just your future...smacking you in the face with dollar bills and licensing rights. Your very own comic series. I've even thrown out the first cover for you, because I am just that nice of a guy. But this is only the first step. I'm seeing an Adult Swim cartoon, action figures with the Kung-Fu grip, High Noon Hibachi lunchboxes, 1-piece pajamas for the children with the feet that snap at the bottom, the possibilities are endless. So Gilbert, if you're out there and you like what you hear, give me a call. My number is 555-55....55. If Indiana Jones picks up, just hang up and try again.

Also, I feel it is appropriate at this time to let everyone know my area of expertise is definitely NOT public relations. This probably wouldn't go over too well. Anywho, I gave it my best...all you can ask for, right?...

The Justice Cooler

2010-02-15T15:11:00.000-05:00

Ahhhh the water cooler. What a grand American tradition. The annoying, pointy little cups. The high quality H2O. The enlightening conversations about awful reality TV programming. The Batarang practices leading to slippery floors and potential lawsuits. It's true, every office has a water cooler, apparently even the Justice League Headquarters. And Batman has clean-up duty for the next month. Which is terrible, because word is Wonder Woman always leaves the microwave a mess.

Boondak Syndicate Cover Art

2010-02-11T00:36:00.000-05:00

Mixing in a little business with pleasure here on the site...dangerous, I know, but I had to do it. Just finished up the cover art on Boondak Syndicate's new album "The Backyardigans", which should be released sometime soon, early March I want to say. But for more info, check them out at www.boondaksyndicate.com. And for more info on myself, check me out at www.kevjuice.com, which is the site you are currently on, rendering the previous sentence absolutely useless. Awesome stuff there by me. This entry needs to end soon.

Coachasaurus Rex

2010-02-03T23:59:00.001-05:00

That right there folks, was a horribly executed attempt at an obvious dinosaur/first name joke. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. It's Super Bowl Week, so what better time to put a picture up of someone who is not involved in the game? Ol' Rex was in the news this week though, as well as his right hand, a certain finger, and pixelation. But it was at an MMA fight and you put a camera phone in his face...Does this result shock you??? No matter, everybody here at Kev Juice (Me, Myself, and I) are big Rex fans. In fact, I may be late turning in my Coach of the Year vote for him....dahhhhh, he should do fine without me...

Beep...Boop...Beep...Boop

2010-01-21T12:17:00.000-05:00

That's right folks, Jack Bauer is on the loose again. FOX has unleashed the most patriotic American ever, this time on New York City. "24" is in its' eighth season, and I could be mistaken, but I believe Mr. Bauer has saved the country upwards of 17 times, and the world at least 5. But I don't need to bore you with the details, all that stuff is common knowledge. However, after the year off, Jack is always a little rusty getting back into the groove of CTU life. The man stays off the grid, so it can be somewhat difficult to re-establish communication with some of his cohorts. In this case, he can't quite seem to find the right "C/Khloe". I'm not here to judge, it could happen to anybody. Just a piece of advice, Jack: CTU Chloe is spelled with a "C", while Kardashian-Odom Khloe is spelled with a "K". Just for future reference...

BEEP...BOOP...BEEP...BOOP...

Allow Me To Reintroduce Myself...

2009-12-29T12:52:00.000-05:00

Even though I look over to the column on the right and notice I have less followers than the United States had original colonies, I still would like to believe everyone out there is wondering where all the updates have been. I haven't been sick, just unable to erase fast enough to keep pace with the story of the decade. Obviously, the Tiger Woods saga is a topic that needs to be addressed here on Kev Juice, but as more and more women kept coming out of the woodwork, I kept having to add more and more women in the picture. So eventually, my paper looked like a page straight of "Where's Waldo?", which isn't really my style.

(That was obviously a joke, I would never be as near-sighted as to come up with an illustration that wouldn't work no matter how many Montecito hostesses or Waffle House waitresses came forward. C'mon people, I'm better than that. I've had an idea since Day 2 of "A Golf Club, A Face, and A Fire Hydrant", but just haven't gotten around to it yet. It's coming. Maybe.)

So anyway, these are some original character designs I have been working on for an upcoming project. Can't really go into anymore detail than that. In fact I've probably said too much already.

The Buddy System, Alive and Well

2009-12-02T16:07:00.000-05:00

The only way I can attempt to describe the nonsense that you see above is that it's the player select screen of a video game that pits some of the most feared legends of the waterways against each other. While they wait for their number to be called, the contestants often engage in some wily banter. Such wiliness was captured in this instance. As you can see, Player 1 looks to be leaning toward selecting Captain Jack. I believe it's his ability to block out distractions and focus on the task at hand that sets him apart.

Carson and Hobbes

2009-11-20T13:31:00.000-05:00

Ochocinco is an entertainment monster. He puts people in the stands (literally...I mean, he actually bought some Cincinnati fans seats in Green Bay so he could Lambeau Leap into their embracing arms), commands the attention of every reporter with his antics, and now has even brought his multi-media-mogulness to you, the American public. You can download his app for your phone for a mere $2.99 and be closer to Ocho than ever. I have no shame in announcing I support all of this whole-heartedly. Every part of his life seems interesting to me, so it's only natural that I document even the smallest of moments. And although I cannot confirm that this was an actual conversation between Chad and his quarterback, Carson Palmer...it couldn't be that far off, could it?

A Lot of Droppage

2009-11-17T16:24:00.000-05:00

Some album artwork I had been working on recently with a couple fellas out of Maryland. They call themselves the Drop Squad, the album is entitled "The Drop", and "The Drop" is dropping soon. If you're counting at home folks, that's me using some form of the word "drop" four times in one sentence. Awesome.

C J Run, C J Catch, C J Win Heisman

2009-11-12T13:41:00.000-05:00

Tebow, Schmebow. Not that I don't like Tim Tebow, I just thought it would be funny to say "Schmebow". And I was right. But, if people are being honest and actually watching college football games this year, it's becoming pretty obvious who is the best, most explosive, singular player in the nation...CJ Spiller. I know Clemson printed up a bunch of life-size posters for his Heisman campaign before the season started, but it hasn't generated the necessary buzz nationally. Enter Kev Juice. Print these bad boys up, and I think the Heisman Trophy would pretty much be a wrap. And since I'm posting this on here, CJ and all his hopes can count on at least...AT LEAST....5 or 6 more supporters. The grassroots campaign must start somewhere....

The Worldwide Leader Drinks Kev Juice Too??

2009-11-06T16:14:00.000-05:00

I don't want to speak for The Worldwide Leader in Sports...but yes, apparently they do. I did this illustration for the Scott Van Pelt Show. It probably won't go over as well on the "radio" part of the show, but luckily for me they also broadcast simultaneously on ESPN2, ESPNU sometimes, who knows where else....The Ocho, maybe? I would tell you when and where they are going to use it, but then I would be lying because I have no idea. So until then, I will just have to keep my eyes peeled. Very slowly, but kind of surely, Kev Juice steadily becoming the drink of choice across this great nation.

Mr. West Is In The Building

2009-10-29T11:06:00.000-04:00

What can you say about Delonte West? Any grown man who likes SpongeBob SquarePants is cool in my book (See also, Beasley, Michael), and I'm almost positive he's the funniest guy I don't know. For those of you who haven't seen his YouTube entertainment, they're instant classics. Yeah, he ran into a little bit of trouble here recently, with the Grand Theft Auto re-enactment and whatnot, but that's OK. He'll be alright. All he needs is some good Raspberry Iced Tea. Somebody get him some! And I'm definitely not making fun of the guy, he's one of my favorite players in the League. Liked his game since the St. Joe's days. But the elements around this most recent incident were just too crazy not to do a pic on. So I consider this one more of a celebration. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the man, the myth, the legend...Delonte West.

Wings N' Things

2009-10-29T01:02:00.000-04:00

What hero you know wears Louis shades, Rainbow flops, and has wings growing out of his back?? Thought so. This was just an initial concept I had for a character I had to design. And for those of you that have never seen me....this is a self-portrait. Shackles and all.

(Just kidding, people that have never seen me. Sometimes I can only communicate through heavy sarcasm, so those previous two sentences should not be taken seriously. Obviously, the self-portrait can be found at the very top of this page. Thank you.)

The Hero Blueprint

2009-10-27T16:25:00.000-04:00

There are a ton of heroes out there...but I can't remember any with asthma. That's not a real accurate representation of society. Honestly, which is more likely to happen, a super-mutated spider bites an innocent youth and turns him into someone who shoots webbing out of his wrists...or a wild powerful inhaler breathes gassy fumes and self-confidence into a brainy freshman equipped with only his calculator watch and colorful pen collection??? Actually, now that I think about it, they both seem a little far-fetched. TAH WELL, the point is, asthmatic heroes are out there, and deserve to be recognized. BREATHE EASY!

The FEDS

2009-10-26T11:57:00.000-04:00

It looked a bit strange seeing the same two pictures posted right below each other, so I'm spicing things up. This is my very own "Welcome Week" to the blogger universe, therefore I have decided I'm going to post a new pic every day...get things started off right. I've always thought there was a lack of really good Roger Federer cartoons out there. They come so few and far in between. So here's one: 2 FBI agents, the Swiss tennis sensation, interrogations, flying rackets....What could be better?? This should have been a Nike advertising campaign, I'm convinced. So if anyone out there has any connects with Nike....ah hem, put your boy on.

The Wait Is Over

2009-10-26T11:25:00.000-04:00

What's goin' on my good people?!....This is the new blog site: Kev Juice, Pure Premium....THE source for your daily Vitamin Kev. It's an easier way for me to get my pictures out to the masses. And I know the masses want it. I've heard the clamoring, the unanswered cries....the streets talk, you know. Good news, your voices have not fallen on deaf ears. Because what the masses want, the masses get. So now that you have gone ahead and moved this right to the top of your favorites list, (and you WILL move this to the top of your favorites list) let me get right down to the business: Thought-provoking illustrations, Earth-shattering insight, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, wildly entertaining sarcasm, ....I'm drawing a blank on the rest of what I bring to the table, but I'm thinking you can get psyched for at least 3 of those. Players make plays.....Let's GOOOO!!!