Classic SEC Humor

That's right, this clearly states "Coming November 5", and I am typing this on November 8. Just another example of how things get done on this site. Anyway, there was a pretty big game on Saturday, complete with an ESPN countdown clock and all. And they didn't even broadcast it. So it was safe to say the game had a little bit of hype. Just think what would have happened if the networks and Verne Lundquist himself got a load of this picture. World very well may have exploded. So in the end, looks like my tardiness served a purpose. You are all welcome.

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The game wasn't really all that appealing aesthetically, but it was pretty impressive to see both squads trot out an entire 2-deep defensive roster that will be in the NFL, give or take 3 years. I watched, and I wished. I wished the Bears would draft Morris Claiborne in April. But, as everyone reading this knows, Chicago plays a Cover 2 and don't really draft man-to-man corners. Also, they seem to be dead set against drafting obvious talent, which doesn't bode well for our friend Morris. So I went ahead and killed that dream now rather than wait until April. Before I get even more distracted, I will sum up. Great game Saturday. Don't really want to see it again. The Arkansas-LSU game will be way more entertaining to watch. And the main lesson learned is that, again, the Honey Badger simply don't care.

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Erin Andrews. This should really help traffic.

Bouncer Mike: The Tales Of A Door Keeper

The Bouncer. It is an overlooked position, filled with joyous times and tremendous, life-altering stories. Bouncers guard the doors to places of congregation, but the doors to their hearts...those they leave unguarded. Get to know one. I immediately apologize. I now realize that sounded exactly like one of those old NBC public service announcements. Cue the shooting star and soothing piano number.

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I do respect The Bouncer however, let us not get that twisted, as the youngsters say. Which is why I developed a character primed for his own Pixar full-length feature. His name is Mike, Bouncer Mike. He checks IDs. He does The Heisman on whoever wants it. And he is a hit with the ladies, some of them underage perhaps. Not his problem, he's just following orders. I'm sure once the good folks over at the animation studios get their eyes on this we will see a Bouncer Flick (That's the name I just came up with for this genre...surely this sparks a trend) within the next 12 months.

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Well, if you all will excuse me, I have reached my weekly goal of drawing a picture, then coming up with 2 paragraphs of hot garbage to explain it after the fact. Kim Kardashian divorce.